Category: Family

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Anti-fragile dad

Dads are the best. My one tops the list, obviously.

Life’s thrown him challenge after challenge after challenge. Loss of loved ones, hardship and all manner of complex situations.

Yet somehow he bounces back, time and again, stronger and stronger. With more and more love in his heart and a greater spring in his step.

Many would be fragile and collapse under the pressure of life. Others would do the mere basics to stay standing, or find ways to numb themselves from the discomfort. No, not dad — he’s anti-fragile. He takes each new challenge and becomes stronger and more vibrant.

Wherever he goes, he lights up the room and brings a feeling of joviality in the air. He works hard, travels widely and easily makes friends wherever he goes.

Recently for his 65th birthday, family and friends recorded video messages for him. The one consistent quality shared about him through these messages is his ability to bring energy to whoever he meets.

What’s for sure is that this is not by any accident. He has worked hard on himself for decades. Life throws great curveballs and yet he finds a way to consistently embrace them, get even stronger and fill the room with light.

I see this in my brother too — he is an incredible loving father to my nephew and has anti-fragility woven into every fibre of his being. Leveraging life’s knocks and bouncing back powerfully, you’ll find that wherever he goes, Sawan fills the room with light, with love and with joy.

Also my friend Leo who practices this at home and in his work, delves deep into his well of compassion to serve millions of people and even trains his community in anti-fragility.

As I look to my dad, my brother and my friends, I’m inspired to train in anti-fragility, with deep calm and great joy.

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Patient emerging of purpose to uplift a community

For the first decade of my life, I grew up in Wealdstone, an area of Harrow that has since significantly changed over the years. With some spare time this afternoon, I visited Wealdstone and sat on a public bench opposite the Holy Trinity Church, a building I was always intrigued by when I was a young boy.

As I sat, alone on the bench with a hot coffee in my hand, keeping my backpack close next to me, I recollected the times growing up in the area, the trip to the local bakery or the bank or the shoe shop with my mum and brother. I remembered going to the park, accompanied by my dad who taught my brother and I how to ride a bike.

As I continued to sit this afternoon, on World Mental Health Day, I observed the local community, some on their way back home from a long day at work, mothers and their children walking home from their after-school activities, others humming while cycling, or those walking while engrossed in their phone screens.

I also witnessed young men subtly exchanging what looked like small brown packets and bank notes. I noticed other young men, sipping on a can of beer concealed by a plastic bag. I saw elderly men, some sitting alone, appearing so lonely, talking to themselves. I saw other elderly men in groups, prising open a bottle of whisky and twisting open a bottle of water to dilute the whisky (thereby making the drink last that much longer).

Witnessing all this loneliness, this lack of purpose, this need to numb their pain through alcohol or drugs of some sort, made me feel very sad. In some ways, I wanted to help them out of their suffering and in other ways, I wanted to just let them be.

Looking closer, I noticed something beyond the sadness, beyond the loneliness, beyond the pain. I noticed that majestic spirit, trapped, concealed, enslaved, but still there. It was present in the everlasting beyond the transient. It came through in the way the man sitting alone tapped his legs on the paving on the ground. It showed clearly in the way the group of men engaged with each other. It was apparent through the interactions, through the gestures, through the eyes, through each breath.

It’s in that moment that I felt a sense of calm, a sense that the town I grew up in, has perhaps not degraded in the way I first thought, as it still houses the very spirit that has the potential to uplift the entire community. In that moment, I witnessed hope, joy, wisdom and a sense of purpose, eagerly seeking to emerge.

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Overcoming Distractions with Awareness

Why does life get so overwhelming?

We try so hard to do the right thing, follow the right path, and make soulful progress, yet it feels like the world around us is doing everything in it’s power to trip us up.

Occasionally we get a forwarded email that is precisely what we need to read that day.

I was blessed to receive such an email today. The source is unknown but the message is essential. It mentions Satan vs. God, but you could easily exchange these with paap (deluding and destructive karma) vs. Atma (the Soul and it’s nature of abundant, infinite and eternal good and happiness).

Use the message to build your awareness about the distractions and hurdles we face in our Soul’s evolution and through that awareness how to conquer the ‘Devil’s Plans’.

Let me know how you get on…

—

SATAN’S MEETING!

Satan called a worldwide convention of demons.

In his opening address he said,

“We can’t keep people from going to pray.”

“We can’t keep them from reading their holy books and knowing the truth.”

“We can’t even keep them from forming an intimate relationship with their God “.

“Once they gain that connection with GOD, our power over them is broken.”

“So let them go to their prayers; let them have their covered dish
Dinners,BUT steal their time, so they don’t have time to develop a
Relationship with GOD..”

“This is what I want you to do,” said the devil:

“Distract them from gaining hold of their GOD and maintaining that
Vital connection throughout their day!”

“How shall we do this?” his demons shouted.

  “Keep them busy in the non-essentials of life and invent innumerable
Schemes to occupy their minds,” he answered.

“Tempt them to spend, spend, spend, and borrow, borrow, borrow.”

“Persuade the wives to go to work for long hours and the husbands to work 6-7 days each week, 10-12 hours a day, so they can afford their empty lifestyles.”

“Keep them from spending time with their children.”

“As their families fragment, soon, their homes will offer no escape from the pressures of work!”

“Over-stimulate their minds so that they cannot hear that still, small voice.”

 “Entice them to play the radio or cassette player whenever they drive.” To keep the TV, VCR, CDs and their PCs going constantly  in their home and see to it that every store and restaurant in the world plays non-religious music constantly.”

“This will jam their minds and break that union with God.”

“Fill the coffee tables with magazines and newspapers.”

“Pound their minds with the news 24 hours a day.”

“Invade their driving moments with billboards.”

“Flood their mailboxes with junk mail, mail order catalogs, sweepstakes, and every kind of newsletter and promotional offering
Free products, services and false hopes..”

“Keep skinny, beautiful models on the magazines and TV so their husbands will believe that outward beauty is what’s important, and they’ll become dissatisfied with their wives.

“Keep the wives too tired to love their husbands at night.”

“Give them headaches too! “

“If they don’t give their husbands the love they need, they will begin to look elsewhere.”

“That will fragment their families quickly!”

“Give them distractions to distract them from teaching their children the real meaning of life.”

“Even in their recreation, let them be excessive.”

“Have them return from their recreation exhausted.”

“Keep them too busy to go out in nature and reflect on God’s creation.   Send them to amusement parks, sporting events, plays,
Concerts, and movies instead.”

“Keep them busy, busy, busy!”

“And when they meet for spiritual fellowship, involve them in gossip and small talk so that they leave with troubled consciences. “

“Crowd their lives with so many good causes they have no time to seek power from GOD.”

“Soon they will be working in their own strength, sacrificing their health and family for the good of the cause.”

“It will work!”

“It will work!”

It was quite a plan!

The demons went eagerly to their assignments causing people everywhere to get busier and more rushed, going here and there.

Having little time for their God or their families.

Having no time to tell others about the power of GOD to change lives.

I guess the question is, has the devil been successful in his schemes?

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Alternatives to Mealtimes in Front of the TV

When a bachelor friend recently visited us, he was saying how, even though he’s bought a dining table and chairs, he has most of his meals in front of the TV.

Until recently, Heena and I have spent most of our mealtimes glued to the TV set too. Such a convenient distraction from life, and a shameful waste of valuable time.

It got me thinking about alternatives to the television during mealtimes either alone or with a partner:

– have a conversation at the dining table
– learn about each others’ day
– picnic in the garden or local park
– eating slowly paying full attention to each mouthful
– listening to music
– listening to inspirational audio
– reading a book
– reading a magazine
– writing lyrics to a song
– writing a blog post
– looking through a photo album
– watching a slideshow of treasured memories on a digital photo frame

Which of the above do you already enjoy doing? What alternatives would you suggest?